May 2, 2010
Heavy Load
The other surrogate son has some serious issues, and we are very concerned. He visited last weekend, and a bomb snuck out of his secret locker. More than two years ago, he witnessed his sister’s boyfriend shoot and kill his sister’s girlfriend on their front porch. He revealed that he feels guilt for not preventing the murder. Childhood is not supposed to burn such memories into our soul. He calls me Mr. Larry, and I call him D1 son.

It’s not your fault
It’s NOT your fault really
It’s not your fault

May 1, 2010
Madison
Three M’s for her initials - MMM for mmm, mmm good! Maddie, you are loved by Papa and Mimi. I see theatre and drama in your every move. You are on stage, 24/7. You have some theatre genes – some come from my mom and great grandpa Callahan. See you soon!

Cindy doggy mom
Animated personality
She lights the room up

April 30, 2010
Bonniemom
The boys know that mom’s got their back. Don’t mess with them unless you want a she bear fight! I am glad she found our son, and got found by him. I’m proud of her fight for healthy life, and for the way her talent has been noticed at work. And then there is their best work together in Maddie. What a prize granddaughter! She is happy and secure, for good reason.

A good home for them
A new look that flatters nice
Bonniemom thank you

April 29, 2010
Danson
I like the way he does the right things. His best right thing was stepping up to be a dad of two boys that came with his new love. He could have gone through the motions, but he decided they would be his sons before he married her. He has made a lasting difference that cannot be measured. What is the value of a good man’s influence on two pre teen boys – priceless!

He just did it right
Unsung hero differencemaker
Way to go son

April 28, 2010
Louis Louis

He is my son’s other dad. But he’s also one great family friend. If you are having a party, you need him there. He brings his Mexican macho wrapped in a grin from inside out. I like the traditional order he brings to the family, and the strong character influence he gives to our grandkids. He’s the only legal drug dealer I know. Louis, you ‘da man! But you married up just like Nate and I did.

Quesada on the rocks?
Both wheels rolling good now
Sierra adventureman

April 27, 2010
Karinny

You ought to see this princess dance! We’ve got to make sure this girly-girl does not get stuck on her self, like we are. She will be able to go a lot of places because she wins hearts. Right now the place we are trying to get her to go is Nashville, for her first trip away on her own. Come on now, you can do it!

Princess dog mommy
She likes to sing dance flirt
Way too many shoes

April 26, 2010
Kendall

Some of my best time with him is walking the flume. I really like that he likes to walk it with me. I have missed so much, and I want to catch up. He is the boy everyone would like to have, and every smart girl would chase. He just has it all going, but his best is his steady, honest, decent character. Anyone who spends time with him is better for it. He radiates goodness and life. Blowgun for you – we will shoot it in the high sierras!

Comfortable always
Even teasing sisters tolerated
What a boy soon man!

April 25, 2010
Leslie

My second daughter married my son. They have done well on each other, and made a good home. Les is tough and tender. She is boss teach at a continuation school for “troubled” high-schoolers. I have never seen her in action, but I can only imagine her snatching a knot in one of them who sasses her. I’ll bet they love to hate her, because she tough loves them. You are loved Les; like you were – like you are.

Soccer baseball dance mom
His anchor lover friend wife
Inside a good heart

April 24, 2010
Nateson

I knew he had it right when he called me after 9-11, and said “Dad I want to be in law enforcement.” He is one of the few who should have the authority of law behind them, because he does not need it to be the man he is. If you met him out of uniform, you would not figure it out. And now he is a “winged Sheriff”, following the aviation genes. Son, you are a good balanced man. Some may call you a cop. I call you a “peacemaker” with a piece. Your best work is home though – just look at ‘em!

Nate the great (remember)
Packing heat or passing the peace?
Have it your way mister

April 23, 2010
Sweet Sixteen

I am in denial – she can’t be sixteen; it was hard to believe it when my daughter turned 16, now my granddaughter! She is a beautiful, wonderful young woman who has been mothered and fathered well. She will find her best way in life, just watch her. Grandpa blessings and love to you K – late please forgive.

Past training bra shock
Watch out for a green VW now
You go Kaylyn girl!

April 22, 2010
Fallen Family Tree

The boy’s homework was to tell his family tree story in Spanish. Easy for some, but he choked on his imprisoned, abandoning father. Last time his father was out of prison, he saw him in a store and his father turned and walked away. Get that homework done son! You make that tree whoever it needs to be. He calls me Mr. Larry, and I call him D2 son.

It’s not your fault
It’s NOT your fault really
It’s not your fault

April 21, 2010
Peace Feast

I think I missed the point for years in Psalm 23. I thought God was taunting my enemies by preparing my table before them. Wrong. I get to be peace at this table. Peace is served, and I am expected to offer the peace feast to all those “enemies” of mine. They can come or send regrets, but I will not fear them. The Caterer is to be reckoned with.

Enmity consumes
No peace - know peace. Be the peace
Catered by Prince

April 20, 2010
Grieving Dad

We started losing his memory years ago, and I am grieving him today even though he is still here. We almost missed a moment thinking he should stay home instead of visit the Fresno clan – too tiring for him to make that long trip. WRONG! Pop you get there if there is one breath left. Let every one of our kids and grandkids see the great soul you have become. I see a lot of God in you, an awful lot of God. When they see your body in a box, they will know who you were, where they came from, and where you ARE.

No unfinished business
He lived a really good story
He’s ready for wings

April 19, 2010
Contorted sayings

A kid gets the family grace prayer backwards - “make us ever mindful of the needs of others” becomes “make us ever needful of the minds of others”. Ever wonder if God messes with us through what kids say? This has me pondering what “never mind” really means…

On a Teardrop trailer
“I go where I am towed”
Bumper wisdom truth

April 18, 2010
Free Moments

See the wired prisoner of electro-clutter, in a multi-tasking morass. When am I not available? Heart-wild asks if my life feels spacious, and about my “free moments?” Now there is some serious meddling! All of my moments are free. None of my moments are free. Do I own my moments? If not, who does? How do I get better at “moment management?” These questions frustrate, and the answers say that life can be sucked away unnoticed.

Busy-busy bee me
Be still and KNOW that I am…
Silence sanctuary

April 17, 2010
Tomorrow Do-over

STOP to take time to be still and quiet. LOOK for God’s evidence trail. LISTEN for a small quiet voice of love. KNOW that the only time is now and the only place is here.
FOLLOW where God leads. FIND God waiting when you get there.

No known destination
Promised faithful presence only
High stakes indeed

April 16, 2010
Birthday Tradition

She was called on her birthday a few years ago, and my dad sang a hearty “happy birthday” to her. She cried, and said “no one ever did that for me before.” Since Alzheimer’s has freed and loosened my dad up, all the family can expect such a call on their day. Moreover, we have all begun doing it for each other. Sis turned 60 today, and has received six singing b-day songs so far. Nothing is so bad that it cannot be used for good, by God – even Alzheimer’s.

Family traditions
Curses and blessings both flow
Pass the good ones

April 15, 2010
Editing our Story

Experience happens; story lives. This thing we call our life – it’s a story. We can just experience it, as it comes. We can remember it, and document parts of it. Best though, we can edit it; even make it. Tomorrow is NOT just what happens after today. Today’s choices mark us as observers, architects or explorers. Pack light.

Comfort zone drugged
It is not yet written down
Seize your life pen

April 14, 2010
Back to the Monastery

Back for more quiet – it seems they have a bumper crop of it here. I got an inner alarm recently that said “Warning – too much stuff with too little weight!” Another alarm sounded, “Noise level too high, shut up and listen!” She is angry for good reason. I did not give her the whole truth, because I was not yet able to handle it myself. What seemed to be my decision was only partially so. It was time for this to happen, but that does not make it easy.

God a magnet pulls
My soul to quiet reflection
More than a quart low

April 13, 2010
Info-skeptic

We get instant total information access - unverified and of questionable veracity. Wired world citizens are either skeptics or fools; two bad choices. The introspective become info-skeptical. We were designed to seek and believe truth. We are now conditioned to disbelieve it all or believe it is “relevantly and relatively true”. Come on now…, don’t you think that if lips are moving, a lie is here or on the way?

Costly information
Inoculated by too much
Truth strained with lies

April 12, 2010
P’cola Beach

She, Sis and I are off to some beach - mercy! It all started in Pensacola in 1968; mean nasty tough drill instructors who reminded us “fly boys” that the Navy would “never give us the keys to that fantum jet” screaming overhead. Forty two years later, I got to touch the old retired museum jets again, while imagining I could still get that thing aboard. Yea, right. Oh hey, over there - that’s the place where the Marine major tried to jump the open drawbridge (unsuccessfully) on his motorcycle. And once the DI told us his balls were so big he needed a wheelbarrow to carry them. Later on, we bought him a red wheelbarrow.

Gentleman officer?
Naa…, just a kid who liked speed
Here’s the keys boy

April 11, 2010
Finish Line

At some point the finish line comes into view, and you know you run the last yards. What a mixed bag of stuff! Exhaustion. Exhilaration. Pride. Trepidation. Relief. So what does life look like on the other side of this finish line? We will see. As long as I can fog a mirror, the adventure proceeds. New chutes spring from decomposing matter. New paths emerge – take one…, take ‘em all!

Momentum forward
What is most important now?
Listening well

April 10, 2010
Security Risk

These two words don’t feel good so close to each other. Life has taught me there is a degree of personal security that radically impedes growth, and new life. Risk is often taken when there seems nothing to lose; hence often thwarted when there seems a lot to lose. So should I self-impose a security breach for the sake of receptivity to risk and change? When early explorers harbored near the new land, one stayed behind and burned the ship!

Safe and secure here
The comfort zone cancerous
Tradeoff life for safe

April 9, 2010
First Date (Cont. from Jan 16 blog)

Both were decked out full in tux and gown, trimmed in pink over ebony skin. She and I were into it like they were our own kids. Is this the first and the last date, or the first of a lifetime? God knows; it’s not our business. It was fun to give lessons on manners and handshakes. She primps his collar fit. For me, it’s “eye contact son, and don’t mutter! Don’t answer trick questions, sidestep them. Remember Aretha’s song about R-E-S-P-E-C-T…” Yada, yada.

Children all grown?
Don’t miss youth in springtime
Seek young connections

April 8, 2010
Thanksliving

Much better than giving thanks is living it. If we give it is something we have; if we live it – it is something we are. Last words always get special attention. The very last Psalm is about thanking God. The last words of the last Psalm are “let everything that has breath thank God. Thank God.”

Grateful attitude
Does goodness rain from within?
Be wet with me too

April 7, 2010
Take-aways

It is good to glean “take-aways” from experiences. I saw “Clash of the Titans” last weekend. My take-away was the line “There is a god in you – be sure to bring it!” My beliefs understand the truth in the line to be “God (Holy Spirit) lives within you – remember that; act accordingly.” Don’t bring a knife to a tank battle, and don’t think you can stand against hell with a “little g” god.

Memory markers
Life Cliff Notes highlighted
Life book chapter titles

April 6, 2010
I Witness

Eye witness. Hear witness. Smell witness. Feel witness. Taste witness. Bear witness. Bare witness. False witness. Key witness. I see, hear, feel, smell and taste my moments. Am I experientially credible, as a sixth sensor with second sight? Would a sound jury agree? The hardest part seems to be paying attention to BOTH the minutia and the panorama.

Connecting the dots
Situational awareness
Microscope telescope

April 5, 2010
Two and 3/4 Men

Vinny and I share - care for a young man. Eight years now, and the boy now looks like a man. How we got this job, only God knows. We still hang, chat and chew at Noshville deli. We must look an unlikely trio. Vince tells about how Shantytown South Africa taught him some life. I tell potty stories about how it is to be a backside in the Philippines and Japan. Boy man tells about what he sees, and how he sees it. We listen. God eavesdrops.

So who is a father?
For many “father” is a mosaic
You me and God

April 4, 2010
Life Risen

The balloon is almost full to buoyant, straining the tie ropes. Will you wave goodbye as it rises and sails? Will you jump in the basket, and take flight? You see the problem is that the balloon goes where the wind blows it, and just where will that be? What is the flight plan? And just where does that wind come from, and where is it going? Only one way to find out… all boooaaaarrrddd!

Scary stuff cutting loose
A control freak’s worst nightmare
All to lose and gain

April 3, 2010
40 days a weak

Give it up for Lent - so I did, and failed. Not the first or last time; kind of like a new year’s resolution. Some really great stuff happens even to the denial deficient. Daily time with God and God’s Word; breathe in life deep! Exhale daily stories since Jan 1. My spiritual hearing improves... shhhh now, shhhh. Hear it?

What a sorry soul
Can’t even give that up for God?
Pay attention, closer

April 2, 2010
He has done it

Jesus said “It is finished.” Followers say he has done it, once and forever. As for me, what Jesus did and finished gives me a place to start, and re-start. The hand extended to me and you is pierced, and knows sorrow. The best kind of leadership and love says “come with me where I have been and go again.”

Telestai happens
I will see you soon at home
Woman, behold your son

April 1, 2010
Prison Dad

A friend’s boy is now an imprisoned man. He’s badly broken, obscenely wounding his own kids. So just where does MY compassion begin and end? Justice and mercy go here, but its ends right there? Do sexual offenders get “special” prison justice, and do they deserve it? And what if they “get religion” - do they still get hell now and later?

Generational
The curse that keeps on giving
Break it now God please